Clicking Our Heels Doesn’t Make it Better

 

Legislating same sex rights in N.Y. doesn’t settle the issue of equality and end the discrimination.  With the passage of the gay rights bill it was a significant step in the political process for recognition---in one state.  But as the vote reveals, 33-29, there are almost half of the votes still in denial of equality for a significant portion of the population; not to mention there are still states that would not recognize this human rights acknowledgement.

So it’s an important first step; but it illustrates there’s much work to do.  What is of note is that because this issue was close to home for some of the Republican supporters, it was able “to do what they knew was right”.  Is that what it takes for something to get done to do the right thing; people will only do the right thing if they can relate to an issue?  Do we have to run out of gas or see the price go to $/gal to know that our dependency on oil and lack of conservation measures is a doomed policy?  Do we have to have rioting in the streets, like Greece, because our economic policies fail to meet the needs of its constituency?   Do we have to have another failed bridge because of decaying, neglected infrastructure, to realize that decay will not wait for an electorate to realize that austerity, alone, is not a productive program?  Is it only these times when we do the right thing?

Is that what it takes for action to occur that there has to be a failure for people to act?  Foresight isn’t enough?  Ideology and selfishness stand in the way until catastrophe or personal identification with an issue becomes the motivating factor?  But this waiting is unrealistic when it comes to countless others who are oppressed due to inequitable policies but aren’t fortunate enough to have the coffers to grease the representatives.  So let’s not emote about the power of “the right thing” too much.  Not enough of the right thing is getting done in the year 2011 when a religious institution guided by 2500 year old dogma still controls the driving force behind many of the policies that fail to do the right thing, one way or another, for most of the electorate.  Ignorance fostered by fear, instilled by the ability of damnation, is the road block to enlightened change.  When there are some who still question whether homosexuality is a choice is still permeating the air, it’s testament that education is not the call of the day.  When the knowledge is not promoted that there is no such thing as race, it shouldn’t be a surprise that discrimination based on ethnicity still exists.

But unless you’re of a past noted minority, hence, no personal dog in the fight, we cannot feel empathy for those discriminated against?  We refuse to acknowledge that over the past 150 years, thru Jim Crow laws and vestigial policies, a significant portion of the population has been disadvantaged in the race for equality because opportunities were different for them vs. those not considered minorities.  That this discrimination didn’t simply disappear with the emancipation of the slaves, no less than the discrimination against homosexuality will not disappear until truly the mindset changes in a church that advocates that homosexuality is an abomination and should be punishable by death; but short of that, economic and civil discrimination will persist in the time being.  Those educated along church dogma will not give up the ignorance until the church recognizes the discriminating ways of its teachings and releases its flock from obedience.  Maybe it’s time for those without the money, but to vote in unison with others of the same sentiment, to make the difference and do the right thing.  Maybe it’s time to show the money that the right thing should be the motivating force for our actions, not the things money can buy.  Happiness to homosexuals was brought to those representatives dealing with the issue close to home because the vote was bought. Too bad, doing the right thing shouldn’t have to cost money, but it did.  Education is the equalizer.  Too bad it comes down to people having to experience the hurt to realize that doing the right thing gets done too late for many.

How many died as victims because the right thing was not done?  Martin Luther King had it right in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail when he said, it can’t wait.  How many more days will we have to wait for the right things to get done because dogmas and ideology stand in the way of equality because ideology and dogma are membership requirements into a club that stands in the way of helping humanity as opposed to only those few fortunate enough to have the money to buy the happiness?  But that money will not buy the recognition on a humane level, only a civic level.  And in the eyes of those experiencing the discrimination, it’s not true recognition of equality when there is still the opposition who never understands the equality even when it, begrudgingly, has been coerced by a vote.  It will never understand unless there’s education to stand in the way of the discrimination; and that will be the right thing.

                                                                No Flies !            

Habits are Like Flies;

because they’re baggage.  We hold onto things from the past because we either aren’t aware that they’re actually useless, like some traditions, or we drag them around because we don’t know how to get rid of them.  Few ask the “why” do we do these things; or “where’d this come from”? We do a lot of things out of ignorance, or because we’re taught by others because they don’t know any better from their own habits.  Regardless, they’re baggage; and as habits go, they can be difficult to break.

We have habits that are traditions like religious tenets; or some nefariously promoted by the likes of the tobacco industry when they know, in spite of the latest scientific information, the consumption of their product is hazardous to your health.  And even more in the flies department, the promotion of this product is defended under the guise of, it’s about not losing jobs; regardless that the side effect is additional medical expense to the consuming public which then becomes a burden on the healthcare system.  Mind you, rescue workers from 9/11 have had a harder time being recognized for their needed care than smokers and their health complications.  Go figure.  Something’s wrong someplace.

But smoking really is one of those activities that we have to scratch our heads.  Before the surgeon general started having input, it was just one of those things our parents did, we saw in movies by “cool” people, or started with peer pressure.  Much like a lot of other flies we find comforting.  But because there’s no law against some of these activities, we continue practicing them because they are supported by larger organizations that in some way benefit; regardless of their negative consequences for the consumers and society.  Chutzpah, wouldn’t you say?  It’s like caveat emptor really has no friends other than yourself.  So, aside from the usual dogma we rail from on this site, let’s comment about this bunch of flies that, individually, we CAN do something about that’s now unquestionably dangerous and should be easy to simply detach from; cigarettes.

To date, 20% of the population in the U.S., alone, still smoke; over a billion people in the world.  Can you believe that in spite of the obvious health detriments, people still pay for the “pleasure”?  Some simply continue because they think they “enjoy” it; others because they’re trapped in the habit and haven’t found a way out.  But it’s really a sham that something so bereft of sensible behavior is fostered by business and politicians.  We spend millions on campaigns and healthcare to make people aware of its deleterious effects, yet we also spend millions on its promotion, not to mention subsidies.  If there ever was an act of shoveling shit against the tide; this is it.

On top of that, a residual consequence is the development of a whole industry to combat this behavior.  There have been numerous “remedies” over the years to help people break their use of this product; some successful, many not.  But being an ex-smoker, as far as I know, there hasn’t been a method to stop smoking as simply offered here.  No gimmicks, no patches, no pills with side effects, no great outlays of money or time required.  It’s easier than you think when all you need is the desire to stop.  The method is here. 

This is The No Flies Zone.  Questionable behavior is not permitted and should be exterminated.  Although, flies are just that, comforting convictions; when exposed, just like pests, they should be dealt with.  If you’re a smoker, or know one, the gratification from quitting is one of the greatest gifts that can be given; tantamount to a gift of love.  On this site; Beating the Habit---How to Stop Smoking, click on “buy the book”; it’s a great gift.  It’s like giving someone a treasure map.  All they have to do is follow directions.

                              No Flies !            

What is Marriage?

A man and a woman?  Same sex?  We’ve heard a lot about this recently.  But why is it such an issue?  Where did we get the idea that it can only occur between a man and a woman; or does it not have to?  Can it be any way, or does it have to be only one way?

Most of us grew up with the traditional understanding of what a marriage is because of what our founding ethics have been based on; that being the Judeo Christian ethics as determined by the old and new testaments of our western culture brought over by the protestant colonialists.  But there are many things that have been dictated by these ethics that when looked at under closer scrutiny, we can question as to the necessity of continuing these dogmas in light of new information and other, more modern, ways.

Think outside your mental box for a moment.  Of course we think of marriage as something parents do so they can have kids because they love each other.  We also think in terms that marriages end up in divorce because that love dissipates.  But a lot of things can happen outside of our institutional dogma when it comes to human nature.  Did you know that about 40% of births are to unwed mothers?  That taboo seems to be waning.

But marriage is simply the union of two things.  We can marry things with glue; we can marry two things with a mechanical coupling.  We can marry things like a horse and carriage.  But, traditionally, we think of a marriage of a man and a woman with religious intonations and a civil contract because we were rarely exposed to any other way; until recently.  Just like we rarely thought about miscegenation until it was determined that there was no basis for it; or sodomy laws for that matter when it seems to be pretty popular in different forms.   We adhere to certain tenets, customs or preferences, because it was the predominate training we were raised with.

So we can have a marriage as the union of two people.  But why does it have to be defined biblically as only between a man and a woman when there might be two people of the same sex willing to make the same commitment as two of different sexes?  It’s not like we’re talking about a man and a mule (don’t go there).   While there are other parts of the world and of other times and cultures that haven’t given the behavior a second thought;  it seems that these unions of same sex couples have been acknowledged in other cultures for thousands of years when untethered to Judeo Christian ethics. Yet there are those who remain adamantly opposed to it for fear that it would be a departure from their ideological teachings.  Kinda makes sense.  You lose the tenets; you lose the flock; you lose the fellowship.

The display of affection is a human universal which is not limited to just between a man and a women because we happen to think in terms of heterosexual behavior.  But it can also occur between two of the same sex because that behavior is just as normal as heterosexuality as determined by the American Psychiatric Assoc., and others.  And since this display of affection is a human universal, it transcends any laws made to the contrary because of cult requirements as membership to a group.  It may not be your style, but just because it isn’t, doesn’t mean that laws can be legislated to exclude other behaviors that don’t fit into our lifestyles or adhere to our religious dogma; particularly, when some religious dogma is arbitrarily exclusionary and divisive when science has found concrete discoveries to the contrary.  Remember, we have Puritan roots.

So why should there be discrimination when it comes to same sex unions when there isn’t any between heterosexual and they’re both normal behaviors?  They’re not abnormal just because some guys in bathrobes said it was 2500 years ago as part of a group’s founding story.  Perhaps it’s this religious undertone that set the agenda?  Religious dogma says that homosexual behavior is an abomination per Leviticus 18:22.  Naturally the church has a conflict of interest.  Why should they condone something they’re told to believe is abhorrent? 

But it doesn’t mean they should continue to dictate the country’s legal system based on their exclusionary laws when, in our country, free of religious interference, and intrusion in government, all should be free to carry on in the pursuit of liberty and happiness; which should not be limited to heterosexuals or more confining yet, religious rules.  Our civil laws should be free of religious dogma.  What the church dictates should only apply to the members of that group if they so chose to be discriminatory within their own followers.  But in this country, for one, our behaviors should be free of traditional religious dogma and respectful of human universals and human rights first.  That’s the principle America was founded on; not as some will have you believe, some twisted, convoluted ideas of freedom for government with religion.

                                   No Flies !            

Kids are sponges

As we recently celebrated father’s day with the usual BBq’s and sports events, we should really be compelled to reflect on what it is to be a father.  When we think about who and what we are fathers to, other than the bodies that follow us around for maybe the first 18 years of their lives, it might be awesome and bewildering at the same time to consider what we have been entrusted with. 

For starters, kids are sponges.  They come into this world pre programmed accessible with what are known as Human Universals.  Aside from the physical characteristics that we all share as homo sapiens, and the relatively minute individual genetic differences from one another, these universals are human traits of behavior that we find in man across the globe regardless of skin color.  And aside from skin color, it has been discovered that man is all of the same genetic flesh such that there are no justifications for determining that any person on the earth is a subspecies of another.

With that being said, one might wonder how certain people can be discriminated against and others not.  That’s a subject to discuss---but for another time.  The fact remains, we are truly all equal.  Not the same, but all equipped to deal with external stimuli. But the significant thing about the concept of human universals is that although we come with these abilities, what make us different from one another are the environmental input and the effects on our own human universals; much of it to do with opportunity.

For simplicity’s sake; did you ever think about all the different languages on this earth?  Believe it or not, all people are capable of adapting their brains to communicate in different tongues; amazing when you think about it.  It’s a matter of stimuli that sets the program in our brain to connect.  We are all born with this capability regardless of our origins.  And so it goes with numerous other programs that we are born with.  It’s like we are born with libraries of behavioral and capabilities software.  The sharpening and adaptability of each of those universals becomes an issue of opportunity and culture.  We are neither born with blank slates, evil or goodness, or ghosts in our machines; as Steven Pinker points out in his The Blank Slate.  These traits come with our birth as a human and are cultivated as we become exposed to our elements of stimulation. That stimulation comes from a variety of sources, but none as great as the parent.

So in thinking what responsibility are we entrusted with the day we become fathers (and mothers), takes on a whole new perspective when we then think about what software programs we will stimulate.  What is the education we will imprint on these youthful minds?  Will it be broad based? How will we influence their development?  How will we affect the world?

Will we be inclined to be satisfied with inculcating them with the same education we had, believing it was adequate for us, or would we be open to exposing them to the latest, newest information that the world has discovered for their taking regardless of the threat it might impose to our tenets?  Will we be adamant that they learn about the same customs and traditions as we have, regardless of their validity, or are we intent on their being exposed to freethinking and having newer, different, and better choices for their lives?  These are important concepts because the sponges as they are, it’s this opportune time to establish what trails they will explore.  Those that stimulate the mind with the inquisition of new discoveries, or those paths that have been traveled over for centuries that perpetuates myths and discrimination? 

Personally, I believe leading by example yields the greatest results.  But that route is the most difficult.  It means we must examine our own choices and traditions, because they will most likely carry the day if there isn’t a greater opposing force.  And it’s not like our children actually have a choice when it comes to who’s exposing them to what education for the first years of their impressionable lives. 

Are we going to saddle them with the same dogmas of hate we learned about, among them being; Homosexuality being abhorrent behavior, one religion is better than another, dark skinned people are inferior to lighter skinned, and some people are less deserving than others; or permit them to explore, unfettered by our prejudices and misconceptions, how man and the world is presently interacting and how they can possibly make it better?

Our responsibilities are bigger than just believing that what was good enough for us should be good enough for them.  The world is changing and needs updating as new information comes in.  At one time we could bomb our way to superiority.  Now we have our own buildings toppled by less than 2 dozen fanatics, from across the world, killing 3000 in the process.  We’re not living in our father’s world anymore.  It’s up to us to equip our children with the latest knowledge and all available opportunities for them to be equipped to succeed and manage in today’s world.  And that doesn’t mean who can pray the best or loudest.  Those days are gone.  Today it’s about who is best equipped with the most knowledgeable workforce, who has up to date infrastructure for movement of the masses, who has the healthier society both in healthcare and living standards, who can compete in a global economy, who can negotiate the threats to our environment, who has a vibrant working society, who is most respectful of human rights, who takes care of its own?

You’d be surprised.  When we once thought there were different people on the earth, some being incorrigible or uneducable, we now find they are no different than us as inhabitants on the earth; just having grown up with different input regarding hate and misconceptions about others because we find ourselves at odds with them.  Maybe if they’re educated too we can find our common ground of mutual survival on this earth rather than competing for the same resources and spilling bloodshed in the process while claiming we’re superior---when we’re not.

Sponges absorb everything.  Be careful what they’re exposed to.  Father’s day should be an everyday moving force resulting in a better world not only for us, but for our children’s futures.  It’s about education.

                                                         No Flies !